Went to Roadhouse

Got up yesterday went for a swim sun was shining knew it was gonna be a SPECIAL DAY. Got done swimming decided to get out to the course early for a snack before golf. Snack turned into double cheeseburger, seasoned fries, pickles, tomatoes, lettuce, 3 packs mustard, 2 packs ketchup, half bottle ketchup, 2 mayonnaise packs, 4 cokes (fountain), pepper. Oh yea and a side of attitude from the hoe that made my burger, said I used too many condiments I said KNOW YOUR ROLE. Next up was golf on a full tummy, still hit that shit long, Justin and Dad said, "did you just hit that 370"? I said I PUT MY MEAT BEHIND IT. They said what. Got done playing golf, it was hot, so guess what i'm hungry again. The guys wanted to go to Roadhouse and meet Mom there asked me what I thought I said i'm there in spirit already. They said what. Roadhouse is about 5 miles from the course I got there in 2 minutes, do the math. Parked in the handicap spot, manager came out said sir thats for special needs customers I snatched him by the collar said boy IM LEAVIN ON A STRETCHER. He radioed the kitchen said fire up the grill. Strolled into Roadhouse REAL CALM giving no hints to the drama I was about to create, girl said Welcome to Raodhouse! I walked right up to her kissed her on the MOUTH said WELCOME TO HELL, she ran. Got my table fast like I told them to went to the bathroom first to wash up. On my way back to the table noticed the slave for the night was a dude, I walked up to him said I hope you got a bowflex and use it cuz this tray is about to become A BURDEN ON YOUR BACK, oh and ps my family doesnt tip! He said Is a Dr. Pepper ok buddy your family said thats what you wanted, I said bring two and call me SIR. Next got my tum tum warmed up with 3 baskets of rolls and a small outburst with the waiter about butter quantities. Finally dude came back from crying decided he would try to take our order, He said and for you sir?, resturant went silent, It was like KOBE steppin up to a free throw to win the game, everybody knows HES GONNA MAKE IT. Got done ordering, the ink on his pen was dry, he said normally people don't add 4 sides to that its a pretty big meal, I said in that case DOUBLE MY ORDER BITCH! Some other Numb Nuts finally brought the food out, Who had the chicken tenders? I said me, who had the roadkill? I said right here, Loaded mashed potatoes? PRESENT. he got nervous went and grabbed a fire extingisher I thought, smart play boy. Got done eating felt pregnant knew I had done good, left the resturant got outside handicap spot now had my picture on it I said thats a nice gesture but I got a couple pics at the apt id rather use, manager said why are you winking at me I said no rain no rainbow. He ran.